


Haunting

by scottxlogan



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Psychological Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 16:49:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8409226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottxlogan/pseuds/scottxlogan
Summary: Each year on Halloween Logan is haunted by the night when everything changed in his life. Unable to change his fate Logan must endure the memory that will forever haunt him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was another fic I'd written based off of a specific request that was sent to me on tumblr by an anon. I hope that the anon gets to see this fic and enjoys it. :)

The night winds howled sending vibrations through the mansion on the unusually cold October night. In the past October storms had been a source of comfort for Logan, but tonight it was anything, but soothing as Logan made his way up from the basement cellar to discover that the school was empty. Everything was cold, dark and miserable on a night when there had once been life bristling in the mansion. Back at a time when the school was up and running Logan was surrounded by hope, happiness and a family that had welcomed a strange man into their lives readily without question or concern. It had been part of a better time for him, but now with the rest of them gone the world had gone to hell. Life had gone into disarray and the worst part was that he had no one to blame, but himself for not being stronger. If only he’d seen the threat that presented itself at a time when he’d let his guard down. If only he’d known what was ahead for them he would’ve changed things, but now he was in a place that once flourished, where life had once meant something promising for the young mutants Charles Xavier had taken under his wing. Now, however, the school was left in ruins transformed into a place where the halls that once comforted Logan served as a mean of haunting him in his self-induced punishment he’d thrust himself into in his exile. Then again at this point in life no one would come to look for an old, broken man like him lost and alone in the fractured remains of Charles Xavier’s dream.

“We can save them Logan,” Charles told him time and time again and for a while he’d wanted to believe that change was possible. He had wanted to see that life would get better, but he had been wrong.

Everything Logan had done had been in vain and now as the winds howled and the night grew darker than before, Logan found himself more alone and miserable than ever. In the distance Logan could hear the sounds of the grandfather clock in the hallway across the estate chiming in as a reminder of what once was in the place where Charles Xavier had come together to offer up his dream of a future where mutants and humans could live together in peace sharing the world and making the most of their union with one another. Only unlike the dreams that Charles held onto the world was cold and cruel taking Logan into darkness where he witnessed the end of those around him until he was the only one left. It was his penance to pay for becoming what he was, but now as he found himself caught up in the ghosts of the pasts, he felt his heart sink even further when recollection carried over him.

_“We’re going to be late,” the excited voices of children rushing through the hallways filled his senses taking him back to a time on Halloween night those years ago when they’d all been eager and enthused to be able to go out and be accepted. On Halloween night there were no mutants or humans, but rather just children going out to have a good time and enjoy the spirit of the holiday._

_“Come on!” another child cheered as Logan groaned into his pillow wondering what in the world could prompt anyone to want to get up on such a miserable night._

_“You heard them,” Scott’s muffled voice whispered in the back of his ear as Logan felt Scott’s long, slender fingers poke into his side, “We’re on duty tonight Logan.”_

_“I just went to bed a few hours ago,” Logan’s agitated voice groaned into the pillow as Scott’s fingers teased over the top of his spine._

_“I realize that,” Scott slurred dipping down to kiss the back of Logan’s neck, “but a promise is a promise.”_

_“What about your promise to let me rest after the Devil’s Night duty we took last night?” Logan questioned mustering up enough strength to raise his head up and groan. He looked over at Scott finding himself wanting to smack the amused smirk off of his husband’s face now that Scott was perched up on his arm waiting expectantly for Logan to pull himself up out of bed._

_“Listen you were the one who didn’t want to go to sleep right away after last night’s watch,” Scott reminded him with a stern warning, “I told you that we would be taking them out tonight, so when you decided that it was best for our to be making love instead of sleeping…”_

_“You didn’t exactly try to talk me out of it,” Logan groaned twisting his arm out beneath him and curling it around Scott’s abdomen. He pulled Scott back down onto the bed beside him and started to snuggle into the pillow once again, “We deserve a break.”_

_“They deserve to be happy,” Scott reminded Logan once again. With a small nudge and a poke Scott moved in closer to kiss the side of Logan’s neck, “Come on. You don’t want to let them down, right?”_

_“You know I love the kids, but…” Logan let out a long, agitated sigh, “I just wish that tonight…”_

_“Forget it,” Scott decided wiggling out of Logan’s embrace, “Storm and I can take care of it. We’ll enlist Hank and Jean and…”_

_“Scott, it’s not that…” Logan grumbled forcing himself to look up from his pillow, “Just remind me to rest when we get home later tonight.”_

_“You won’t be resting after you get your hands on all that candy,” Scott teased with a small wink, “and I wouldn’t want you to.  You did, after all, promise me a repeat performance tonight after trick-or-treating.”_

_“How could I forget?” Logan teased with a wrinkled expression on his face._

_“Trust me I won’t let you. Now get up!” Scott urged springing out of the bed and preparing to take the children out for a night they’d never forget._

“Only I’m the one that never forgot,” Logan sighed remembering how before the night was over the school had been attacked by men who had come prepared to take each and every one of them down. One by one they’d massacred the others systematically destroying them with weapons geared towards their extinction. Much like the sentinels of the past in a life Logan had once known these madmen had entered into Charles Xavier’s sanctuary tearing it to pieces one by one until the only reminder of what once was existed was Logan’s miserable existence in the ruins of Charles Xavier’s dream.

“You’re all out of chances Logan,” that inner voice reminded him as he clung to the neck of the wine bottle he’d pulled out of the cellar. With the clock chiming in the distance he found himself realizing that it was almost midnight—almost Halloween and as he staggered over towards the crumbled remains of the foyer. Raising the wine bottle to his lips he took a long, hard swig of it before dropping down at the foot of the staircase finishing the bottle off until finally by the grace of some higher power he collapsed on the stairs simply giving in to the dark cloud that misery had put upon him.

 

\-----

 

“We’re going to be late,” the excited voices of children rushing through the hallways filled his senses causing Logan to gasp as his eyes snapped open. A gasp carried over his lips when the sound of footsteps surrounded him taking him from a drunken haze to the scent of clean sheets and plush blankets surrounding him.

“Come on!” another child cheered as Logan groaned into his pillow feeling himself caught up in the same damn memory of the night the mutant population were exposed to torment and suffering for one final time. He could hear the sound of feet rushing, could sense the scent of joy and excitement, but beyond that the vividness of his hallucination was all consuming taking him from where he’d passed out on the staircase to immersing himself completely in the memory caught up in what once was.

“I’m losing my damn mind,” Logan groaned miserably as his arm stretched out over the side of the mattress. Unlike the floor he’d remembered the previous evening he found himself reaching out to touch the dips of the bed in the room he and Scott had once shared with one another after Logan’s time traveling had led him into a world where he and Scott Summers were happily married husbands living their lives in Charles Xavier’s school with other staff members and friends. However, that dream all came to an end that fateful Halloween when their kind had been wiped out just minutes before their annual Halloween party at the school was about to send the children out trick-or-treating. He could still smell the caramel apples and the cider, but it was the death and blood that invaded his senses and caused him to shudder as he further awakened from his dream.

“You heard them,” Scott’s muffled voice whispered in the back of Logan’s ear catching Logan off guard when he felt Scott’s long, slender fingers poke into his side. Unlike the many memories of the past this one brought about warmth and a sensory overload when the scent of Scott overtook Logan’s sense, “We’re on duty tonight Logan.”

“I just went to bed a few hours ago,” Logan’s agitated voice groaned into the pillow as if on cue in the nightmare that haunted him as Scott’s fingers teased over the top of his spine.

“I realize that,” Scott slurred dipping down to kiss the back of Logan’s neck, “but a promise is a promise.”

“It doesn’t matter what we promise because it always ends the same,” Logan bellowed into his pillow while condemning his mind for taking him back to that fateful Halloween night when life as he knew it ended all over again.

“If you mean with you miserable and amped up on a chocolate induced sex high once we’re done taking the kids out, then I don’t see what the complaining is for,” Scott jabbed at him once again bringing about a new twist in their dynamic when Scott’s lips grazed over the back of his neck teasingly, “Unless of course you’d much rather skip the waiting part and fit something in now before we head down to the party.”

“That isn’t part of the agenda this morning,” Logan raised his head up to see Scott up on his side looking over at him. Twisting beneath the blankets he couldn’t help, but blink as Scott’s plump lower lip curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl.

“Since when have you been one to turn down a quickie in between responsibility?” Scott bit down on his lower lip and sighed. Stretching his arm out he reached out to touch the top of Logan’s forehead before watching him closely, “You really must be exhausted from patrol last night.”

“No, it’s just that we…” Logan pushed himself up underneath the blankets as his eyes were drawn to Scott’s bare chest revealed above the dip in the blanket that surrounded Scott’s lithe form. He watched as Scott brought one hand up over the center of his chest when his plump lips pursed together in contemplation, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

“Since when?” Scott’s lip curled in a pout as he leaned in closer towards Logan with a suggestive wiggle of his brow above his glasses, “I’m usually the one saying that we don’t have enough time, but if you really want to wait…”

“We never had enough time,” Logan reached out to grip at Scott’s arm to pull him in closer beneath the blankets, “Time was never on our side.”

“It comes with being responsible,” Scott shrugged as Logan rolled Scott onto his back, flipping him over onto the mattress when Logan hovered over him.

“No,” Logan reached out to tenderly touch the side of Scott’s face, “it’s because fate has always found a way to fuck with us. We keep getting this taken from us before we can truly…”

“You’re the one that didn’t want to make love,” Scott pointed out with a frown as Logan hovered over him, “but if you’re still open to it, then we can still…”

“Why the hell not?” Logan decided dipping down to kiss Scott. If his sanity was leaving him, then at least he’d relish in the moment taking in all that he could before the hallucination wore off and he found himself alone again.

“I mean if it’s such a chore,” Scott teased breaking away from the kiss as if he was changing his mind, but Logan knew better as the warmth of Scott’s thighs brushed up against Logan’s hips cradling him with their solid strength.

“Not on your life,” Logan growled reaching down beneath the blanket to curl Scott’s thigh around him more completely.

“There’s the spirit,” Scott’s arms readily wrapped around Logan’s shoulders drawing him in closer as their lips collided in the same, familiar tease taking them from a distant memory to the most vivid hallucination Logan had ever experienced aside from the time he’d changed the future. With every small nip and bite Scott placed over Logan’s skin to his nails dragging down over Logan’s spine, it all felt so real, far too wonderful to every walk away from when Logan thought back to the mornings in the past when he’d been surrounded by love with Scott in his arms after his return to the new life he’d found for himself. On most days before the Halloween attack he questioned the reality he’d found himself in, but over time he’d learned to live in the new present and embrace his future. With Scott that had been easy, but without him it had been a nightmare that he could never truly be free from.

With a gasp Logan pulled away from Scott severing the ties between them in their kiss as he found himself reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face. Gently his thumb brushed over Scott’s bottom kiss swollen lip, curling underneath his chin to tip his head backward before Logan’s index finger swept in the hollow of Scott’s cheekbone.

“Beautiful,” Logan whispered thinking about how many times his mind had retraced the memory of the man beneath him in his hallucination. Time and time again Logan had drank himself to sleep where he would ultimately be surrounded by memories of Scott’s warmth, of his taste and the way it felt to touch him, but never like this. Never did he see himself caught up so vividly in the lover he lost.

“I love you,” Scott responded arching up off of the bed to drag Logan down over him in a desperate attempt to force Logan’s focus to return to him again. When it seemed as though Logan’s thoughts were consuming him, Logan felt Scott push his palm into Logan’s chest firmly coaxing Logan onto his back on the mattress held captive to Scott’s desires. He blinked a few times watching as Scott’s bare thigh teased out from beneath the blankets when he resituated himself so that he was seated on Logan’s abdomen. His hands were working over Logan’s chest lightly scratching and teasing through the dark hair upon it. With a lick of his lips and his head arching back, Logan found himself looking up at Scott taking in each familiar line of his body with his eyes, unable to get enough of the sight and the scent of him when Scott leaned forward stretching out across the bed once again. Wordlessly he kissed Logan hard—harder than Logan was expecting when he felt Scott’s arm stretch out beyond the bed to the nightstand beside them. With a twist and a small grunt Scott pulled a bottle off of the top of it while biting down on Logan’s lip.

“I love you,” Logan whispered watching as Scott slid back over his abdomen while opening the top of the bottle and pouring its contents out into his palm. Wordlessly he reached back behind himself knowing without anything beyond instinct how to reach out and touch Logan, to stroke his body to full arousal and prepare him for their union. With each touch Logan grunted, hips rising to meet every one of Scott’s caresses until Scott arched back rolling his hips just enough to rub against Logan’s arousal, igniting a fire deep inside of Logan. Wordlessly he pulled himself up and repositioned himself over Logan’s arousal when Logan pushed his hand out to touch the side of Scott’s face once again, “Scott…"

“Don’t overthink it,” Scott urged carefully seating himself down over Logan’s arousal and pulling Logan’s mind away from thoughts of what was and back into their bed where Scott’s eagerness was enough to give Logan hope that today’s hallucination would give him something to believe in once again.

 

\-----

 

“You’re late,” Charles Xavier greeted Logan inside of his office once Logan had grudgingly pulled himself out of the shower. After making love Scott had shuffled off a bit earlier saying something about having to meet with Hank before the party, but Logan had lingered in the shower wondering what his hallucination hadn’t ended. The more he tried to pull himself out of it, the less he had wanted to, but now that he stood in Chuck’s office, he found himself tortured all the more by the memory.

“Scott and I were,” Logan cleared his throat and looked from side to side, “um…”

“We all know what you were doing,” Charles answered knowingly, “and if it wasn’t for the noise you both make, we’d still all know by the expression on Scott’s face any time he walks into a room. You make him very happy Logan.”

“He does the same for me,” Logan’s grin faded away as he entered his old friend’s office, “which is why doing this each and every year is torture for me.”

“Doing what?” Charles asked watching Logan closely.

“This,” Logan waved his hand around in the air, “this going back to what once was because what is will only serve to destroy me. In reliving this nightmare…”

“What nightmare?” Charles frowned.

“I wish I could show you, but none of this is real. Even if I tried to tell you, then…” Logan’s words trailed off when Charles wheeled around his desk to move in closer to Logan.

“What is it?”

“It’s all over. Even if this time feels different, it always ends the same. It always begins with hope, but it’s nothing more than an illusion,” Logan confessed dropping down onto the couch, “It’s only my mind is stuck in this loop where we keep replaying this over and over again. Every year on Halloween I go back to this day—back to this time when things couldn’t change and…”

“What couldn’t change?” Charles questioned with a frown.

“You die,” Logan blurted out with a shudder, “You all die. There’s nothing left.”

“Logan, I don’t understand. Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true,” Logan asserted with agitation in his tone. He threw his hands up in the air and sighed, “It’s what happened over a decade ago at the mansion when we were attacked by those people on Halloween that…”

“What people?” Charles questioned worriedly.

“The ones I’m going to tell you about like I’ve done a few times in the past, but ultimately by the time this day is over there’s nothing we can do to change this because each time I replay this hallucination I only rediscover that it’s not real. Believe me I’ve tried to stop having this dream each Halloween, but it’s useless. It always returns to me and it always ends like it did that day,” Logan admitted lowering his head shamefully, “It plays out the same each time with a couple of modifications. Sometimes I tell you about what happened. Other times I tell Scott and we end up arguing about how it’s only a residual fear based upon what I went through in the past. You try to smooth the waters between us and more often than not you do, but it’s still the same outcome. You all just die leaving me back to where I was alone in a world without anyone.”

“Logan,” Charles spoke up with concern in his voice, “I know that since you’ve returned to us you’ve had these visions and hallucinations, but…”

“This is just a memory replayed in my mind time and time again,” Logan paused watching the disbelief wash over Chuck’s features, “Bobby’s going to walk down the stairs and trip once he hits the last step. The apples are going to roll across the floor and Hank is going to slip knocking over the marble statue you have near the mantle that you bought in Italy with Raven and…”

Logan’s words were brought to an abrupt ending when the sound of the scene played out beyond Charles Xavier’s open office door. A few seconds later Logan spoke up again.

“Storm is going to come in here and ask you to sign off on a few of the book orders she put in for classes and you’ll receive a call this afternoon from the authorities. They’ll have pinpointed Magneto’s location and you’ll send Hank and I out to take care of it with you while…” Logan continued when there was a tapping at the door.

“Charles, do you have a minute?” Storm questioned as she noticed Logan on the couch. Nodding she addressed him with a smile, “I need you to sign off on a few of these book orders I’m putting in for some of the classes. I found some great materials for that update to the curriculum that we spoke about and if you just sign then…”

“Ororo,” Charles replied revealing nothing about his tone, “If you give me the papers I can take care of it this afternoon.”

“Excellent,” she smiled nodding towards Logan in acknowledgment before speaking to him, “Also Scott’s looking for you Logan. He mentioned something about helping him set up the scavenger hunt for tonight.”

“Tell him I’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” Logan answered with a small sigh.

“Ororo, Logan and I were discussing an important matter. Can you give us a few minutes here?” Charles questioned motioning for her to leave his office. She silently nodded and stepped back closing the door behind her when Charles looked to Logan again, “You have my full attention.”

“I told you it doesn’t matter how we work to change it. It always ends the same,” Logan explained to him, “First I tell you what’s going to happen. You look inside of my head and we try to stop it, but it never ends up that way. One year we took the children and left somewhere that you felt was safe up north, but they still found us. Another time we tried to be prepared by having everyone ready to battle when they got here, but nothing happened. Once I left seeking them out before they had the chance to work their way over here, but it didn’t make a difference. Another time…”

“Let me see,” Charles suggested taking a moment to slip inside of Logan’s head like he did time and time again in the past in the annual hallucination. Only unlike the other times Logan experienced the hallucination, he was far more aware of it with the weight of Charles in his mind struggling to pull out the truth in Logan’s story. This time he was able to show all the ways in which his dream had skewed him to believe there were options, but at the end of the night there were none. Everyone was murdered and there was nothing he could to do change it. There was nothing he could save to save them—not even Scott.

“Oh my,” Charles gasped breaking the connection with Logan, “This does pose to be a bit of a problem.”

“We don’t stand a fighting chance,” Logan blurted out miserably.

“Against what?” Scott questioned alerting them to his presence in the room. Somewhere between Charles entering Logan’s mind Scott had arrived with a pensive expression on his face.

“Scott,” Logan gasped standing upright and looking over to his husband.

“Ro said that you seemed upset,” Scott explained nervously, “I was worried, so I…”

“We need to talk,” Charles interrupted with a small scowl, “Scott, I need you to bring the others into my office so that we can discuss what we must do tonight.”

“We have everything set up for the party and…” Scott focused on Charles once again.

“This goes well and beyond that party,” Charles informed him before rethinking his order, “Never mind I’ll make a call for the others to join us in here, but right now…you sit with Logan. I’ll be right back.”

“Alright,” Scott agreed as Charles exited his office giving Logan and Scott a few moments alone with one another. Worriedly Scott walked over towards Logan and took Logan’s hand in his, “What is it?”

“Slim,” Logan bit down on his thoughts knowing how preposterous they must sound to Charles even with the thoughts in his head, “tonight…”

“What about tonight?”

“Something happens tonight that…” Logan stopped himself and sighed, “It doesn’t matter. Regardless of what I say…”

“Of course it matters. Something’s wrong,” Scott interrupted, “and don’t tell me it isn’t. What Charles said in itself is proof positive that…”

“Something awful is going to happen tonight,” Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face, “and no matter how hard I work to try to change it, there isn’t a thing we can do to make things right.”

“For us?” Scott questioned.

“For everyone,” Logan answered somberly, “Believe me I’ve tried, but…”

“It’s going to be ok,” Scott pushed his fingers into Logan’s thick, dark hair, “whatever is happening, I can promise you that…”

“No,” Logan interrupted with a frown, “as much as I wish that were the case tonight the children are going to die. Our home is going to be attacked by outsiders that will come armed with weapons unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. They will break through the walls and…”

“Logan, I don’t know what prompted this, but…” Scott’s brow creased with worry.

“It’s the truth. You have to believe me on this,” Logan continued in a desperate voice, “Over a decade ago this night happened and each Halloween I keep coming back to this night and reliving it over and over again in vivid detail. No matter how much we try to change it the night always remains the same and each time we try to stop the massacre from happening…”

“Is this like before?” Scott asked worriedly, “Like those other nightmares you were having about Sentinels and a world where everyone was gone and…?”

“This isn’t a dream,” Logan’s voice raised with agitation, “That life was real and this…this is far worse Scott because it proves that no matter how much I wanted to change things my going back in time didn’t do a thing. My changing the future only destroyed it even further and…”

“Honey,” Scott’s voice was sympathetic as he reached out to cup Logan’s face in his hands, “listen to me. Everything is going to be alright. Whatever nightmare you had this morning was…”

“No,” Logan shook his head furiously, “this isn’t a dream. This is what happens each and every year before…”

“Before what?”

“Before I return to a life without you in it,” Logan explained drawing in a breath, “to the life that once this night is over will envelope me once again where I’ve lost you and the world is nothing, but a nightmare.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Scott promised him, “Whatever you think it is…”

“I’m telling you that it won’t end well,” Logan spoke up in an impassioned voice, “Things will end up miserable and…”

“Let’s talk to Charles. Maybe Hank can give you something to help you relax and…” Scott began with nervousness overtaking him.

“I’m not making this up,” Logan snapped in recoil, “I can see that this is hard for you to believe, but tonight I lose you Scott. I’ve been losing you each Halloween like this for over a decade. Time and time again those bastards come in here and rip you away from me. They take you back to their facility and…”

“And what?” Scott questioned worriedly.

“They finish what they started when the first took you all those years ago. They torture you until you can’t take it anymore and you try to fight it, but you can’t…” Logan stopped himself when he noticed the concern over Scott’s features. Unable to help himself he reached out to pull Scott into an embrace, “I can’t lose you again. I can’t afford to live my life without you like I’ve been doing Scott. I know it won’t change, but…”

“But what?” Scott questioned.

“Tonight if you leave,” Logan felt a glimmer of hope overtake him, “if you walk out of here, then maybe…”

“I’m not leaving you,” Scott’s arms embraced Logan readily, “Not now. Not ever.”

“Scott I’m just so afraid that I’ll wake up tomorrow and you’ll be gone. If I lose you again..,” Logan hugged Scott harder than before.

“That won’t happen,” Scott promised, but Logan knew better. He was well aware of how the night would end. There would be no laughter and Halloween costume contests, but rather darkness and misery. It would all just be over.

 

\-----

 

“I’ve spoken to a friend of mine about this situation and he’s offered to help us with Logan’s premonition for the night ahead of us,” Charles explained as the group of staff members were seated in his office listening to the situation that Charles had uncovered in Logan’s mind, “I realize that this is unexpected, but I feel it’s in the best interest of the children if we relocate tonight’s festivities.”

“We’ve done that in the past, but it never worked,” Logan spoke up as Scott’s fingers interlaced in his. He looked down wondering if his husband believed him, but as Scott gripped onto his hand tighter than before Logan simply reciprocated the movement savoring the seconds of Scott at his side as the worst day of his life continued to play out.

“That’s because in the past we’ve never sought out outside help by those with the means of providing it,” Charles explained directing his attention to Logan, “From what I’ve seen in your mind we were too late on a great many of your visions, which is why this time I took it upon myself to call the Avengers and…”

“The Avengers,” Storm frowned, “Why would you do that?”

“Because Ororo this is bigger than we are and having them here will help us defeat this new enemy,” Charles answered readily before taking in a breath, “You’ll be meeting with their liaison Black Panther very shortly as Captain America and a few of his team members are on the way over to ensure the safe transport of the children out of here. Tony Stark is hosting a Halloween party for the children tonight at an undisclosed location so that they will be safe and as for the rest of us…”

Charles looked over to Logan again, “We’ll be working with the rest of the Avengers team to ensure that this night doesn’t end the way in which Logan had foreseen it to go. “

“The Avengers have never cared about our causes in the past,” Peter piped in with a frown, “They have their own agendas and…”

“We have to trust them on this one. Just like we have to trust that this night will not end the way in which Logan has seen it,” Charles answered smoothly before turning to Scott and Logan again, “Captain America will want a word with the both of you before we transport you out as well.”

“Transport us out,” Scott frowned, “If something is going on I want to be here and…”

“You’re needed elsewhere tonight,” Charles informed him with a frown, “You and Logan need to be far from this situation so that…”

“What?” Scott frowned, “What is it that you aren’t telling us Charles? What did you see?”

“These people tonight,” Charles hesitated exchanging glances with Logan, “They are very powerful and…”

“Dangerous,” Jean finished for Charles. She stepped in further into the room before speaking up directly to Scott, “They are here for the both of you. They want to finish what William Stryker started all that time ago when he sought out Logan for the second time…”

“Stryker,” Scott frowned, “Why would anyone attached to that man want to come after us considering that…?”

“It’s not just Stryker behind this,” Jean blurted out exchanging looks with Logan, “It’s about what happened before you came to Charles—before you were in your foster home with Alex and…”

“You mean…” Scott looked over to Logan horrified by the thought, “Whatever happens tonight is because of me?”

“No Scott,” Charles argued, “It’s because of horrible greedy men with awful agendas, but to ensure the safety of our students we need to send them away. We need to team up with the Avengers and…”

“I don’t understand,” Scott continued with a frown, “If these people are looking for me, then I should be the one to be here and take them on when…”

“You can’t Scott,” Jean added sharply, “because if you do that, then…”

“You die…” Hank finished for her, “and that’s the last thing any of us want Scott. Knowing what is at stake here…”

“According to Logan no matter what any of us do we die,” Scott reminded the group, “Whether I fight or not…”

“You’ll be safe,” Charles promised looking to Logan again, “Tony Stark has set the both of you up in an undisclosed location as well, so you should consider this a second honeymoon away from it all for the holiday.”

“Charles,” Scott frowned.

“Don’t argue it Scott,” Charles cut him off abruptly, “Just pack a bag and you’ll be off for transport shortly.”

“Fine,” Scott grudgingly answered as Logan squeezed Scott’s hand once again. Leaning in closer to Logan, Scott whispered in his ear, “This won’t change anything, will it?”

“No,” Logan answered somberly as he realized that despite the efforts Chuck put out nothing would change.

 

\-----

 

“I can’t just sit here doing nothing,” Scott’s words roused Logan from the bar set up at the far side of Tony Stark’s penthouse home away from home in the midst of the city. Despite all of Scott’s protests once the children were taken from the school he had grudgingly agreed to be transported to Stark’s penthouse palace, but with more agitation than Logan had anticipated in their situation, “This doesn’t feel right.”

“No it doesn’t,” Logan agreed looking across the room to where he knew there were members of the Avengers team outside of the door hoping to protect them.

“This is ridiculous,” Scott threw his hands up in the air and sighed, “We should be out there doing something because according to what you’ve said by midnight we’re all erased from history…”

“Scott, I know it’s hard to believe, but…” Logan looked to the glass of whiskey he’d been swirling around in his hand for the last half hour.

“But nothing. You aren’t content with any of this either. I know you. Neither one of us want to sit idle during a fight,” Scott decided walking across the room towards Logan, “Tell me about these people. Tell me where they are from. Jean mentioned Stryker. Do they work for him?”

“It’s more complicated than that,” Logan divulged thinking about the years that had followed the Halloween massacre that had taken place at Charles Xavier’s school, “At the time none of us realized what they were, but they are a group of men led by a monster set on destroying all of us starting with you Scott. There’s something about you specifically that sent them after us and…”

“If I’m the reason that the others will suffer, then you have to let me face this Logan. I have to find these madmen and take them down when…” Scott began clenching his fists at his sides.

“These people know everything about us. It’s as if they spent years studying every last one of our kind. They know things about us that people wouldn’t and shouldn’t unless they…” Logan stopped himself.

“They what?” Scott questioned with a frown, “Logan, if you were the lone survivor of this attack, then you need to tell me what you’ve learned since this happened for you. What in your future has taken place since what you say will go down tonight?”

“I’ve been miserable and alone,” Logan answered somberly hanging his head as he sat in one of Stark’s oversized plush leather chairs, “There are none of us left—not a one aside from me. For a while they hunted me down, but once they’d wiped out the others they lost interest. I was no threat to their attempt to consume and destroy the world around them. I tried to take them down, but each time I failed and now… I know none of this is real. It’s just a dream—a horrible, hopeful dream where I think about how this could’ve played out differently, but tomorrow I’ll wake up in a pool of vomit realizing that my mind was torturing me once again in making me feel that this could be real.”

“This is real,” Scott knelt down before Logan. Reaching for Logan’s hand he squeezed it firmly before speaking up in a calm, soothing tone, “I’m real Logan and when this nightmare is over you’ll come back to me. I promise you that. I’ll still be right here by your side helping you through it.”

“No,” Logan shook his head and sighed. He raised his head up so that he could look at the tense jawline before him, “you aren’t Scott. Even if you feel real none of this is ever real. It never changes. It just fills me with hope before it tears me apart and…”

“Logan, we are stronger than this. We will survive this night together,” Scott frowned as Logan’s fingers pushed up into the side of Scott’s face. With a heavy heart Logan traced Scott’s cheekbone, curling his thumb down near Scott’s lips as Scott involuntarily leaned into the touch.

“After tonight I’ll lose you all over again until next year when I return to the school. Once I’ve drank enough to finally lose sight of sobriety you’ll return to me—you’ll try to convince me that you’re alive, but you aren’t. You’ll tell me this is real and for a day I’ll attempt to forget that it’s all a lie just like this moment is for us. Each year it’s a dream—one that I selfishly want to hold onto in the hopes that it will change, but it won’t. It always ends the same with you gone.”

“It doesn’t have to end that way,” Scott rose up on his knees to slide in closer to Logan, “You saved me once, right? In your world you pulled me out of darkness, yes? You brought me back to you.”

“That was different, but this…” Logan’s words were brought to an abrupt ending when there was a sound booming from outside of the penthouse apartment. Turning towards the source of the sound Scott sprung up on his feet and prepared for what was behind the doors.

“Scott!” Logan shouted his name as the doors to the penthouse apartment burst open and Hawkeye rushed into the room while shooting arrows back at the attackers now taking on the rest of the team in the hallway.

“Run!” Hawkeye ordered as he continued to fend off the men in black suits bent on getting their way into Tony’s safe haven.

“Not a chance!” Scott decided rushing forward as Logan watched his husband moving in to take part in the fight to end life as they knew it.

“Scott!” Logan called out to him, but it was no use as Scott pushed forward moving in alongside of Vision and Black Widow fully prepared to take out the people who were set on destroying Logan’s world all over again.

“What is he doing?” Hawkeye questioned as Logan snarled and unsheathed his claws preparing to follow his lover into madness.

“What he always does,” Logan groaned knowing full well that Scott Summers was the last person to back down from a fight especially when the fate of their kind was on the line. Realizing that Logan knew what the outcome would be, but if nothing else he fully intended to stand by Scott’s side slashing and clawing his way through the enemy in the hopes that somehow, someway this time the dream he’d been stuck in time and time again would finally do him in and take him back to those he loved one way or the other.

 

\-----

 

“No!” Logan gasped shooting up off of the floor only to discover himself in the middle of the foyer at the school caught up in the dream that had consumed him time and time again. This time he could recall the bloody battle with the Avengers leading to one of the attackers shooting Scott and stunning him in the middle of the hallway. He’d fought valiantly, but it wasn’t enough. There were attackers moving in all around them when Logan had rushed forward taking off heads and other limbs in an attempt to protect his lover, to keep him safe until those final moments when darkness consumed him and he found himself seated on the steps of the school with an empty vodka bottle in hand and the darkened foyer surrounded by silence.

“No.” Logan repeated lowering his head somberly when the sound of the old grandfather clock startled him. The dream had ended and nothing had changed. Instead he was submitted to hell living a life without those he loved on yet another year lost without those he cared about. Looking to the empty bottle Logan found his frustrations mounting when he unsheathed his claws and slashed right through it sending glass flying across the foyer without a second though. Rage consumed him as he struggled to pull his tired limbs up off of the step, but before he could follow through on the movement there was a sound from above putting him on edge.

With a low growl Logan looked up catching sight of the shadowy figure at the top of the stairs moving in upon him. Making a small warning sound Logan shot up like a bullet preparing to attack when the darkened figure emerged from the shadows to reveal Scott’s worried features behind the moonlight. He was dressed in a burgundy colored robe and his blue and white pinstriped pajamas as his navy colored slippers scraped across the landing.

“Logan?” he questioned in a tired voice, “What are you doing down here?”

“Scott?” Logan blinked a few times wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him as he saw the vision of the man he was convinced he’d lost all over again in the dream. Rushing up the staircase in a clumsy stagger Logan finally found his way to the landing as he reached out to collect Scott in his arms.

“Scott!” Logan spoke his name in a hoarse whisper gripping him so hard he feared he would crush Scott’s ribs, but he didn’t care. Holding Scott was something that he wasn’t about to stop doing now that the dream had ended and Scott had somehow returned to him from inside of the dream.

“Logan,” Scott gasped for air with his thumbs pushing up into Logan’s ribs in order to get a little space between them, “hey.”

“I don’t care if it’s just a dream,” Logan bellowed overtaken by emotion, “I can’t watch you die on me again. I can’t go through this another year and…”

“Logan,” Scott paused with worry evident in his tone, “hey…honey…”

“I’m so sorry that I failed you,” Logan continued breaking down into tiny sobs as his knees buckled down to the floor and he took Scott down with him taking them both to a heap on the landing of tears and tangled limbs with Scott cradled in Logan’s lap. A moment of awkward silence carried over them before Logan felt Scott’s fingers press into his messy hair gently stroking and caressing his head while Logan’s head hung heavy over Scott’s shoulder sobbing over the years he’d lost after he’d lost everyone in his life.

“It’s okay,” Scott whispered kissing the top of Logan’s head and rubbing his hand over Logan’s spine when darkness transformed to blinding light. At first Logan found himself wondering if he’d finally found his way to the other side letting go of the world that wouldn’t allow him to just die, but when there was another sound from above him, Logan felt Scott tense up in his arms.

“What’s going on down here?” Hank questioned as Scott continued to caress Logan’s spine.

“We’re alright,” Scott spoke up in a firm voice, “Logan’s just had a bit too much to drink tonight and…”

“I’ll say,” Hank added as there was a creaking sound indicating that Hank was moving in closer to them. Looking up Logan spotted his old friend a few steps above where he and Scott were wearing a blue robe and his same wire framed glasses, “Logan, how many times have I told you that you should come and talk to me when you and Scott are arguing with one another? Hitting the bottle like that each time you both have an argument really isn’t a smart idea considering that…”

“It wasn’t that big of a fight,” Scott finished for Hank as he pulled back just enough for Logan to see the concern that carried over Scott’s features, “I know we argued after dinner, but I never anticipated it meaning that you weren’t coming back. I knew you had to blow off some steam, but I wish you would’ve just come up to our room instead of hitting the bar and…”

“What?” Logan questioned looking down to the bottom of the steps where there were various empty bottles serving as a reminder of what he’d been doing before his Halloween dream.

“We should get you cleaned up,” Scott explained touching the side of Logan’s face, “Let’s go up to our room and get you in the shower.”

“But…” Logan looked between Scott and Hank once again.

“I’ll take care of this,” Hank motioned to the bottles at the bottom of the staircase, “before the children wake up after hearing all of the noise.”

“Thanks Hank,” Scott replied gently coaxing Logan to get up off of the ground and follow him back to their bedroom. Wordlessly Logan did as instructed making his way into the bedroom he and Scott shared with one another. Inside everything was as he’d remembered it back before the threat of extinction had entered into his life.

“I really wish you wouldn’t drink so much,” Scott’s voice pulled Logan from his thoughts as Logan felt Scott’s fingers pushing up over the base of his dirty, white t-shirt, “It was different when we were a bit younger because you could hold your liquor better, but now when you keep pushing your limits like that…”

“Scott, I don’t understand. You were just being attacked and…” Logan’s voice waived off with confusion as he thought of his dream where Scott had been attacked and taken captive to the facility that had wiped out the X-men.

“You were having the Halloween dream again, weren’t you?” Scott questioned worriedly as Logan felt Scott pushing the fabric of his t-shirt up over Logan’s broad, muscular chest, “The one where we all died and you were the sole survivor of the attack?”

“It’s not a dream. It’s…” Logan insisted with a small frown.

“A part of the Weapon X programming that Stryker put into your mind after he realized that he couldn’t control you any longer. It was his way of exploiting your fears so that you felt like you’d lost all that you loved in his attempt to break you,” Scott explained coaxing Logan to push his arms up over his head. Grudgingly doing as instructed he allowed Scott to remove his shirt before Scott reached for Logan’s hand and pulled him towards the bathroom.

“No,” Logan shook his head and frowned, “I know what I saw Scott. When we were here on Halloween you were…”

“You were haunted by the Halloween nightmare that you endured when we were attacked by Stryker’s men,” Scott explained guiding Logan into the bathroom. Wordlessly he reached for the drawstring on Logan’s pajama pants to loosen them. They fell to Logan’s ankles as Scott took a step back and sighed, “A few years back after you returned from your trip to the past Stryker’s people found a way to exploit your fears by using a very powerful mutant to implant the suggestion that each Halloween you lose all of us. It’s a horrible, tragic memory that they’ve implanted into your system where you are left believing that you are in a post-apocalyptic world without us living in misery. For most of the year it lays dormant inside of you until Halloween arrives and you lose us all over again.”

“No Scott it was real and…” Logan’s voice trailed off watching as Scott reached out to turn the dials on the shower in an attempt to turn the water on.

“Completely fabricated by Stryker to torment you,” Scott finished turning around to face Logan once again. After he was satisfied with the temperature of the water behind him Scott unknotted his own robe and eased his arm out of it while focusing on Logan again, “It’s been three years since he implanted the nightmare into your subconscious and while Charles has been trying to work with you, he hasn’t quite cracked the code that was implanted. You’ve been doing therapy with him since that time, but…”

“Nothing ever changes,” Logan answered somberly feeling an ache building in the back of his temple.

“Until you return to me no,” Scott sighed reaching up to unbutton his pajama shirt as he continued to speak to Logan, “Each year the fear consumes you and Charles tries to pull you out of it, but it’s so strong and…”

“I lose you,” Logan replied somberly.

“No,” Scott finished unbuttoning the last button on his shirt as he stretched his arm out towards Logan again, “you find me each time. After the nightmare you return to me and we’re together again just like we are now.”

“Scott, I know what I saw. I know what I felt and…”

“Tonight you and I had an argument. I knew it was horrible timing in bringing it up with it being Halloween and all, but I was concerned,” Scott explained expelling a nervous breath, “We were talking about Charles and his methods and the treatment you were going to take after we took the children out trick-or-treating. After dinner you said that you didn’t want his help because you weren’t progressing fast enough. You said that you were tired of dealing with the same agonizing nightmare each year because it never changed. You refused to listen to what he was suggesting and when I went to speak with you, well, you disappeared and…”

“I went to the bar,” Logan finished watching as Scott nodded.

“Bobby said he spotted you at that dive you used to spend your time in before you and I were married. I went down there to speak with you about what was happening and when I brought Jean with me…”

“You wanted her to try to help me this year,” Logan mouthed in realization, “She’s been working with Hank to come up with a new method for trying to reverse the damage that Stryker had done to me, but…”

“You’d already been drinking a bit and you started talking about a life where Jean and I were together. You were talking about another time and place when she and I were together instead of you and I. You started talking about how you were convinced that she and I were working to push you out of our lives,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, “You started accusing us of having an affair behind your back because you felt you were too damaged to be with me and…”

“I got on my bike and took off,” Logan stopped himself when he thought about the angry words that he’d tossed over at Scott and Jean, “I said horrible things about you two having an affair and…”

“Jean tried to convince you that wasn’t the case,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown, “I told you the same thing, but when we reached out to you that only forced you to run away. I was worried about you, but Charles told me to wait here. He promised you would be back and even though we’ve been going through your nightmares each year together, well, he thought it would be best if I stayed here preparing for the aftermath while you…”

“Behaved like a jackass and found myself tormented because of it,” Logan expelled a sharp breath when Scott’s fingers touched the side of Logan’s face gently.

“I won’t even begin to pretend that I can imagine the torture your mind has been through Logan, but I can promise you that I’m going to be with you every step of the way,” Scott promised sliding his fingers into Logan’s hair, “What you’re experiencing is something that won’t go away overnight, but I can promise you that I’ll be with you every step of the way. I love you and I’m not going to abandon you—not now, not ever.”

“Scott I…” Logan raised his chin up to look over at Scott when he felt the weight in his shoulders starting to dissipate. In seeing his lover standing before him looking concerned and upset Logan felt a sense of relief and agony consume him.

“It’s okay Logan, but next time you have to trust me. You have to trust in us and know that regardless of where your mind takes you I’ll never be that far away,” Scott assured him in a soft soothing voice, “I’ll always be right here at your side.”

“Until Stryker takes you away again,” Logan’s frown intensified, “Until my mind tears me apart and shows me things that aren’t real and…”

“The hell you’ve been through is something you never should’ve endured, but I promise you that we’ll find a way together to untangle your mind,” Scott assured him with a small step into Logan’s chest, “We’ll break this hold that Stryker has on you and one day when Halloween arrives you won’t fall back into that torment. One day we’ll be able to share the day with the children passing out chocolate and knowing that everything is going to be okay for us.”

“What if that never happens for us?” Logan questioned worriedly, “What if I’m always broken?”

“We’ve both been broken Logan, but in each other’s arms we find a way to pull the pieces together again,” Scott lay his head on Logan’s shoulder, “You’ve been my strength when I’ve been weak in the past. You’ve made me the man I am today and I promise that I’ll do the same for you Logan. You’re my life, my love and my husband and that means something to me.”

“That you’re a masochist,” Logan let out an ironic laugh as the dread that carried over him slipped into familiarity with Scott’s arms around him talking him back down from the madness that reigned supreme in his head, “No sane person would put up with me or my baggage.”

“I’m not exactly the portrait of mental health myself Logan,” Scott reminded him with a playful slide of his fingers over the back of Logan’s hairline. His index finger circled over a spot in the center of Logan’s neck before Scott arched back to look at Logan again, “We’re stronger than any nightmare that Stryker put inside of your mind. We’ll fight this.”

“And what if we don’t win?” Logan questioned somberly, “What if this never goes away?”

“Then rest assured in knowing that you’ll always find your way back to me and that I’ll never stop fighting for you,” Scott smiled tenderly as his arms surrounded Logan’s shoulders, “You went through hell to find me at a time when I was lost and as your husband I intend to do the same for you no matter what it takes. Understand?”

“It’s easier said than done at times,” Logan sighed feeling an ache carry inside of him after the places his mind had taken him to over the last twenty four hours.

“I realize that, which is why we need to keep pushing forward and return to the next part of your therapy together by showing you what’s real between us,” Scott reached for Logan’s hand and placing it on the waistband of his pajama pants.

“Scott,” Logan replied feeling Scott maneuver Logan’s hand inside of his pajama pants to cup and hold his bottom as a rush of familiarity overtook him.

“Trust me Logan,” Scott leaned in closer to him in a warm, tender gesture meant to bridge a deeper connection between them, “Everything is going to be alright.”

“I know,” Logan replied meaning those words as he found himself believing in a better for the first time that he could remember in a very long time. Despite the truths that surrounded him and the nightmare that consumed him in having Scott at his side, he found himself believing that maybe just maybe love would be the key to untangling the demons that weighed upon his tortured mind once and for all.


End file.
